Summer has started. I have no plans. Well, entertaining sweet girl, getting lots of studying done (4 classes left) and losing weight are my plans. LynnMarie has plans. So far, 3 VBS's and one Bible camp and if we can swing a  Princess music camp will keep her busy. I am hoping to get home to Fl for at least a week but that is not in place yet.

Working on making a difference. Going on and being the hands and feet of Jesus. Not sure why I have not made any attempt so far, but I am sure its pretty much due to laziness. I find it funny because reading LM her Bible story book every night is reminding me about what I have and what I need to be. So lots going on in my mind right now. Work is busy. Lots and lots of kids in the hospital these days, a lot are accidents.  We are seeing a lot of normal kid accidents but a lot are on trampolines, even the ones with with the screens..UGH!! So much stuff out there, it is crazy!!! 

Just read this, what a boring post!! Sorry!

I am feeling like Forrest Gump these days. You know when he says "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is".  He knew how to love, to show love. He was a simple guy, not requiring a lot of attention. I need something to snap me  into the loving everyone thing. I just desire to live a life of love. I want to stop getting frustrated, impatient and judgemental and see everyone as equal. I want to be able to offer hope to my neighbor. I can state that I doubt most people see God through me when I am getting in one of my moods. My desire is to make conscious decisions with my attitude.  I swear the other night I kept hearing a voice tell me "Choose to love" while I was about to get impatient.  I love when  I hear that. It was a great reminder.

I am rereading the book of James  and maybe I will start blogging about that because that book is full of powerful words for my soul!!

Ugh! I really wanted to spend more time here but life has been as it usually is, just busy. It has been a really interesting few months. No major drama, just a lot of self awareness going on. Seeing things with new eyes, most of it involving a precious 4 year old that is AMAZING. I can almost understand why God says in order to get into the kingdom, you must be child like. I do not fully get it, but I can kind of understand. On that note, LynnMarie has a Bible story or 2 or 3 every night. I am loving it and getting ready to go through her Adventure Bible again. I am loving this time. I do not remember most of these stories growing up, or at least some of the details! I really think adults should have Sunday school classes like we did as kids, don't ya think?

Back on the weight loss wagon. AGAIN!  I have lost about 20 pounds this month doing the Weight Watcher thing. Apparently just going to meetings does not make you lose weight, you have to do the program as well. So far so good, and I have been back to the gym ONCE but plan on going tomorrow. I will let you know if that happens!!

I am still a nurse for CHOA, still working the night shift. 10 1/2 years and still going!!!!

love like Jesus

Spent the evening at amazing concert that sang the Bible from the beginning to the end with amazing videos to help capture the meaning. Awesome.

So a few months ago I talked about hearing a whisper from God at church. I spent a while trying to figure out what He was trying to say. Was it to let go of everything that's holding me back? career change? Well, since then I have decided to go back to school and start in Jan but at the same time, I am so afraid of what He was asking.

Here is what God is asking of me. Shake things up. Get out of the comfort zone! Could this be a mission trip? Maybe. Could be asking us to move or find another job? Perhaps. But at this moment, God is reminding me to love. Oh I know, I love. I love to love. I am a kind person, usually, if you don't tick me off. But here is the deal, I want to love the unlovable. Like, get close and love. This could be anything. This is more than donating money which I know can me an awesome thing. I'm at this concert watching a video of what Gods love can look like. I am encouraged . I am hopeful. I want my child to learn by example. I want to love without excuses. To put others first. So this week, I am going to start my new resolutions. Going to make a list of places that I may be able to volunteer. If anyone has any idea, please let me know. I am going to check out MUST ministries but I really want help more than that. Let's see where this takes me. I have to remember what I was created for. I dont think I was created to be comfortable.Time to shake things up

joy

This is what Websters says

Joy is:
The passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good; pleasurable feelings or emotions caused by success, good fortune, and the like, or by a rational prospect of possessing what we love or desire; gladness; exhilaration of spirits; delight.

I love the word Joy. To me is a word that means a happiness that is beyond circumstances, a happiness hard to define. I know many joyful people. They walk in the room, and happiness follows them.

But despite what the good ole dictionary says, my definition of joy is changing. Most of the people that I find joyful, are friends that live for the Lord, that define themselves in doing things and not things they own.

I keep meeting people that have JOY but they don't have much. I am talking about people who have suffered great losses and still smile. They don't complain because their happiness lies in the one above. Its very easy to read the words but its another thing to see someone living. I am a bit jealous of those joyful folks. Because they seem to have it together. They know whats important. its not what you own, what fun stuff you can do, where you can travel. Its truly being happy with what God has given you at that time. They do not focus on the future. they are living in the now. I know, odd post but its something that's been on my mind.

I read blogs and meet people who live in 3rd world countries who have never heard the terms Wi-Fi, IPADs, facebook or even cell phone. They are content with what they have. I am jealous of them.. Praying I can get back to simplicity

church experience

Today was another awesome experience over at North Metro. Michael and I met our new team of volunteers (we coach the teachers from 1-5th graders) and stayed for the second service.

Ok. So here is the deal. I love worship moments that you just cant predict. Today was one of those. Great environment. Great worship leaders. I had this moment where words just poured out my my head.It was beautiful. I didn't have to think about it. It was crazy. I wait for these moments and love it when they happen. Its always when I either choose or are forced to get quiet and focus on why I am here and how much He loves me. I don't think I realize that enough but I am going try to focus on that every single day. I witness such beauty everyday and I miss it because I am so busy with what I think I need to be doing. I watched people worshiping with all of their hearts today and that brought many tears to my eyes.
I heard our pastor today say that we are fully alive when we are fully worshiping God. How true. Its impossible to realize that God loves me more than I can imagine and sees the whole story. I love thy mystery of Gods awesomeness.

step by step

Back to blogging. Ready for change. Waiting to hear another whisper from God. Perhaps I am just to loud that I can not hear Him right now so I need to slow down. I almost deleted my facebook account. I still might, but there is fear there that I will lose contact with friends. Now, I can not have that can I.

So here is my new dilemma. I am desperate for change. I need to lose weight. A lot of weight. I want to lose weight. I want to become organized, really organized.I want to obey God more.
Now all of those things are awesome and come with great rewards. its getting there thats hard. So now I have to figure out how to do all of those, little baby steps, step by step.

Sweet LynnMarie started school today so I am hoping to designate each day to do a different project and give myself a goal.

So thats my plan, for now.