Sunday, April 17, 2011

more to this life

The last few month have been very soul searching for me. I am hoping thats a lifetime thing because it sure has had me ask some serious question and God and I have had some cool conversations. I am still afraid of some of those anwers those, if I am being honest.

Between earthquakes, floods, tornadoes and sorrow all around me, I just questioned my existence and what in the heck my purpose is on this planet. I go through this every now and then .I love days that really get me thinking. I love days that show me something in a way i have never seen.

Ok, so this random I am sorry.

One of the things I struggle with is the fact that I have been a Christian for almost 30 years and I don't know my scripture half as well as people who are brand new Christians. I used to find this depressing, now I kind of find it a challenge. I have gone through a Bible study where I have read through the Bible, but each book had a book, I didn't get to study half as much as I want. I mean, I have all of these questions, common sense says I look to God for the answers first. So thanks to my trusty IPOD touch, my favorite part of my day is right before I go to sleep, and I read the Bible online using a chronological program which has taken me through Genesis and for some reason Job. This may be the first time, I have slowed down to read the whole book of Job. Now I remember the story of all the hardships he went through but here is what's been impacting me. His words! He just talks to God without hesitation. I love it. I am desperate for conversation like that. I know God knows my heart, but I want to converse my heart to him. You may not understand that. Heck I don't understand this.

On another note, I love my church. I love those who are leading and serving. I love to hear them pray. I am so jealous of their hearts. I know thats bad. I just find so much encouragement listening to the honest, humble, words of those whose lives reflect their faith.

One of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced happened today as our new lead pastor was announced. I do not have the time or words to share it here (one day) how what today's service meant to me. I cry at church a lot. Today I cried a lot. It was I have no idea who over half of the people are at the church, and I left feeling like I celebrated with family. Go God!

1 comment:

  1. Don't compare yourself with others who know their Scriptures inside and out. Being a Christian has nothing to do with knowing Scripture and passages ad nauseuem. If you look closely, often the people who quote Scripture so readily are the same ones who judge and condemn others quickly. Scripture can be turned around to suit whatever purpose one has for it. Remember when reading your Bible, that the Scripture is parts of a WHOLE story, not a small piece to be taken out of context.