Thursday, March 31, 2011

Living, He loved me Dying, He saved me Buried, He carried my sins far away Rising, He justified freely forever One day He’s coming Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

Between this and Crowders How He Loves, these 2 songs give me such great encouragement. In fact, they make me want to go dig in to His word and find some more great stuff. Thanks for all of your encouragement. I love it and I am thankful. Oh I am still struggling. Still have some big questions that I am kind of afraid to ask because I am kind of afraid of the answers. But that's kind of what I have struggled with all my life.

Years and years ago I chose this as my life verse for soooo many reasons.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version) 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Its simple but it sums me up. I have lived in fear, in odd ways, in ways you may not know. Here's the thing, I may have a big mouth with lots and lots to say, but I sure do keep a lot inside. I have been so afraid of what people think of me that is has totally kept me from reaching all that God created me to be. Now I know that everyone struggles with stuff but my fear of what people think of me has gone on since I was a little girl and I sure did cover it well.

What I am finding interesting is that I have been a believer since I was way little and just now am I truly discovering the love He has for me. I will never understand it but every now and then I get a little glimpse which the coolest thing. I am doing a Bible study right now which is leading me deeper into is word and how He wants us to love others as He loves us. I am really wondering why its not part of who we are or why many (including myself) are not trying to make it part of who we are.

I grew up realizing the church was more than the building. I know that. Its more than just the bodies that attend there. After being a God follower for over 25 years, I am now understanding that we are the church and we literally are the hands and feet of Christ. I just love how we can be the love of Christ to sooo many. I am blown away by friends who have for the past few years have publiclally shared what God has done in their lives. I am blown away by encouragement I have gotten and the unexpected wisdom from friends I never expected. I am not surprised by all of this, but just loving the unexpected. Friends who share their hearts and new friends who share it all, even the yucky stuff which is still apart of daily life.

God is good. Even in the pain and sorry we are to draw to Him, no matter how painful or uncomfortable. He really is the only One who can complete every need that I have. I have to remind myself that God knows my thoughts, He knows everything about me. He knows the promises that I made to LynnMarie March 16, 2009. He knows what I am afraid of and He knows my passions and my failures. Kind of scary when I think of it like that but am thankful the Creator created me exactly who I am. As disappointed in myself as I am, He still wants to hug me, to know me, to touch me. Thats the comfort I need.

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