Thankful

1. 2 days off in a row from work, I will take what I can get

2. A healthy child

3. making shrinky dinks when we should have been going to bed

4.a hubby who takes care of dinner when you are too tired to think about

5. referrals from friends

6. Celebrating the end of a 10 week Bible Study on the Patriarchs

7. LOA for a friend waiting on her sweet Melanie and a friend getting her sweet Taite this week in China

8.Downton Abbey on demand for free on Comcast

9. Reminders of God's faithfulnes everywhere I look

10. Friends who inspire me just by being themselves

11. a 5 year old who asks me to make silly faces

Nighshift life

Its Saturday night and I am sitting quietly, waiting to assess my patients. I love my job, just not feeling connected to my patients tonight. I am not sure why. Maybe, I am trying to protect myself from getting too close as there are some pretty sick ones. Maybe I am just still in a rut and need to get out of it.Working nights for 11 years has been crazy. I have met amazing families, some who I still talk too. I have witnessed life and death and miracles and God moments throughout this journey. When I think about how my job has been one of those God moments in our adoption journey, I have to smile. That's another story. I am not sure why God shows Himself to me. I do not know why I get those little whispers from Him. I do not need proof to know He is real, yes He shows himself to me. I do not deserve it. Sometimes He has forced me to slow down and be quiet so that I can have a  few of those moments. I have had a few of those tonight.

I find it interesting how He loves children. He mentions them many times in the Bible. But I also think about all the things I have learned from not only my sweet LynnMarie, but the ones I work with 3 times a week. The ones that have had yearly surgeries all of their lives, the ones that hold not memories other than chemotherapy and hospital visits. These are the ones that find joy in things that I take for granted. There are so many examples I could share but that would take so much time. I think of the parents a lot, the ones that anticipated having a child hospital free and instead parenthood consists of appointments, procedures and hospitalizations. In case you have not figured it out, my job puts a lot of things on my mind. I can not believe I got to be a nurse. One of my many dreams that came true.

Sorry, its the middle of a night shift and I tend to be random!

hearts

My heart is so sad at work tonight. My mind is on my mom. This is my first night back to work in 2 weeks and I am not quite connecting to my patients. I am sure tomorrow night will be much better. My daughter has also been on my mind as well. As much as I love being silly with her, I think we may have taken the silly a bit too far. Tonight, we had to talk about what can be said at school (as in certain words) an what is for home. This parenting thing is a lot of responsibility. Just because momma calls you were little sweet potato does not mean you get to call your friends muffiin heads. But oh I love her.

Spending a lot of my free time in prayer today. I am praying that every breath, every ounce of life is focused on glorifying God. I want my goal each day to further the kingdom of God. I do not say that lightly. I want to offer an encouraging word instead of instantly judging someone. I hate that I do that. I hate that I use the excuse that it is human nature. I hate that I compare myself to those who seem to have it together in the church world. I am truly jealous of those who spread joy everywhere. Oh I want that to be a natural part of my life. I can get there. I just need to change my thoughts and perceptions.

So if you read this, please pray for my heart. Pray that I can get off my tush and be the difference maker I so desire to be. That I can be the person God created me for and not be afraid of chasing after that goal.

Its Wednesday, our busy day. Drop LynnMarie off at school early, Bible Study, WW meeting, pick up LynnMarie and rest before dance class. Love it! She's finishing up her  4th year at FBC Acworth and they love her. Its going to be sad when she leaves. Backing up, I am finishing up the Beth Moore study, The Patriarchs which studies Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I love getting back to studying Genesis. I miss all the Bible stories I learned as a child. Genesis is so full of history and is good reminder of God's faithfulness and promises.
Tomorrow I go back to work after being off for 2 weeks. Took a week off for our vacation and before that I had a hand issue and was off work to let my hands heal. Needless to say, its going to be odd going back to work tomorrow.

Enough about that, I am working on getting my tush up and doing something other than sitting around watching Downton Abbey at night. It is indeed a good show, but I have to find something else to focus on. But while I am working on that, look at the pic below and love it. We had such a sweet time as a family last week celebrating LynnMarie's birthday and Gotcha Day.

Working on my trip report for later. Still lots on my mind but that will come eventually......

Life is not always rainbows

I miss blogging here. You know why? When you are talking to a person face to face and you talk to much, they can not just walk away. When you blog, if you blog, they can just turn it off. I love those options.

Struggling this week. I feel like life as I know it is about to change and I have no control. I am thankful that God is. I have know God since a I was a little girl and so thankful that He has been a strong part of my life. I have written before that I am not big on religious words. Which is good because my my relationship with God is far more than religion. I like comfort, to feel safe. But I am not sure God wants me to feel comfortable. I need to be out of my comfort zone. I know that, but too lazy to get out, I am afraid. My heart is heavy for those I love right now. I do not like the unknown. I like to know how things will work out. I do not like a lack of control. Ugh

Enough sadness, we just got backed from our first family trip to Disney world. It was a 5 day trip celebrating LynnMaries birthday and Gotcha Day and we made some wonderful memories. I can not believe we get to be her parents. She is the silliest girl I know. I have been blessed beyond measure and I need to do something about those blessings. Maybe that's my next step!

More tomorrow...Have to go watch the Christmas episode of Downton Abbey