Sunday, September 19, 2010

my mind is wandering

Do you just ever question things? I mean question with no confidence at all? I am a believer but tonight has been another night that has got me wondering, thinking things that I do not want to think about. Tonight, I sat with a 7 year old little girl, while her parents were outside the room hearing a doctor tell them she has a brain tumor with a very poor diagnosis. What do you say to this mom? Whats going through her mind? I am standing outside of the room, where mom is crying, wants to be alone, and wants the lights off. I am giving her time to process.

This sweet pea is so wonderful, a great conversationalist and guess what? internationally adopted. I started my shift talking about adoption and life and 2 hours later hearing mom asking me questions about cancer and tumors. The parents are overwhelmed, the child rests with no cares int he world.

I just don't get it. I fully believe Romans 8;28 when the Bible says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This has nothing to do with my career, just a human who has questions and seems to dwell on the emotional side of things. I know that God has brought good, no great things out of what us earthly souls call pretty crappy things. I watched a 2 year old die of a brain tumor, and then 2 years later met that 2 year olds aunt in an adoption support system. I have met wonderful friends through these moments. I have learned to cherish precious moments, moments that you and I would easily ignore. I have seen these children touch thousands of lives during diagnosis, treatment and during the most difficult times. I just wonder. I have to hold on the the faith that God is able, that God is a bigger God than I can even imagine and that he knows every grain of sand.

Our God is an awesome God!

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