Saturday, September 25, 2010


So can someone explain to me why in the word I am having such a hard time as soon I start getting back in the word an getting real with God. This is another reason this blog is private..Some things just don't belong on facebook.

I screwed up this week, BIG TIME. Nothing illegal, but yours truly disappointed and hurt someone with my actions. It was not intentional. By trying to protect myself, I hurt someone. I didn't even think about it. I just did it. This coworker said I threw her under the bus by my words. My spirit has been broken and I don't know if she will forgive me. I verbally apologized and gave a written one. Humbled at how she shared her feelings but man, I didn't even think about it while I did it. Why? Why in the heck did I do this? Trying to be cool in front of someone that I don't even care about? Not that I don't care, this just wasn't a friend? I tried to solve a problem that I didn't really have to.

I really ruined any trust this person has with me. Oh I have prayed about it, prayed for peace, publically apologized but its going to be a long time before our relationship is anywhere where it was.
Thankful for a God who forgives.

I am rereading Crazy Love again and here is one thing I read

Worry implies that we dont quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough or loving enough to take care of whats happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our importance, our lack of grace toward others, or our grip of control.

Right now, I am letting my problems consume instead of my God consuming me. I have to get back on track!! Any input would be greatly appreciated. I truly hate hurting people especially when I have no idea how badly I have hurt them or how mad they have gotten!


No comments:

Post a Comment