Looking to hear from someone who has stepped out of there comfort zone in an act of faith and realized it was a mistake! I can't seem to find anyone!
I am going through a phase where 2 parts of my life I feel need change. I am really hoping this is a phase because I have gone through this before but I am starting to wonder if I need to just go and make this change. In both places I have have felt comfortable and safe. In both places I have made wonderful friends and grown as a person. But for some reason, I do not feel like I belong in either place right now. Is it God nudging me to make a move or am I fighting Him, knowing he is providing opportunities to learn and love more.
I spent the weekend realizing just how hypocritical I am, how I have been for a long time. I hate that I do not love more, I hate that I choose sarcasm over kindness. I am sorry that I hide from getting closer to people. I hate that I hate the word hate and I have already used it 5 times. I hate that I have great conversations with God but scared to death to pray in a group setting. I hate that I judge. Even small ones, I judge. I hate being judged, even get paranoid about it but I have judged many by how they look, the words they use, who they vote for (sorry, just being honest), how they choose to spend their money, etc and then I realize I do all the same things those people do. I try not to but it happens.
I wonder why I have grown up learning and loving God's word. I wonder why my faith which determines how I behave and interact has somehow been put aside. I tend to care more about what those around me say is good and true and right instead of going to the Bible. Ugh!
For those who know me, for those who care about me, please forgive me!